When You're Tired of Being Out of Control

Many of my frustrations lie within my inability to control most situations. From our adoption, to selling our house, to the dog barking incessantly for what she wants until she gets it. God Controls the Wind

Out of {My} Control

It's frustrating to me because I'm simply unable to control these situations. I cannot control how my kids will react when I tell them what I'm making for dinner, or when it's time to pull out lessons, or when I tell them they cannot watch anymore TV. Their reactions are out of my control. I can discipline them and teach them, but ultimately the decision is up to them.

It's exhausting to constantly hold on to what I think I can control because when I'm unable to control it, I become frustrated. I take it personal. I don't understand why things can't go the way I expect them to.

Sounds kind of like a toddler having a temper tantrum, doesn't it?

The only thing I have in my control is what I choose to believe about where God has me in this season and how I choose to act (or react) as a result. Will I choose to believe that He has my best interest at heart? Even if I don't get what I want when I want it, so to speak?

My best interest may not be what I think it is.

There are so many circumstances that are just out of my control, yet I continue to hold on and try to navigate things I don't even have access to. It's like trying to drive a car from the passenger seat. I don't even have a steering wheel, but somehow I think my ranting, complaining, whining, and woe-is-me attitude will move the car in the direction I want to go. And quite frankly, it's exhausting.

"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am in the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without me you can do nothing." John 15:4-5

Not Our Burdens

I see a pattern of this behavior when I've allowed myself to try to do things on my own. Like I've allowed myself to become disconnected from God and believe that I need to do everything and control every situation. But that's not how God designed us. We have to remain in Him or we cannot do anything. That's not to say that we'll be able to control things, quite the contrary. We'll learn to give up that control and be OK with it.

He never meant for us to carry such a burden and trying to control everything is a burden. Most of what we want to control really isn't in our power to control anyways. The illusion of control does nothing but drain us of energy and joy.

When the wind picks up or changes direction, God still holds on to us, directing us to fall in with the wind. We can choose to follow His leading, or be crazily blown about trying to gain control of what we cannot control. When God calls us into the air, He's the one controlling the wind, not us.

Mommy Control

This is no different in motherhood. In fact, I think in some aspects it's amplified. And because we may have this illusion of control, when things don't go our way, it can cause some major frustrations, leading to mommy anger that gets vented on our children.

I have been doing a lot of reflection on my own mommy anger and it's root cause and I have a feeling I'm not alone. I also know that I'm tired of constantly trying to control things I really have no control over. There is a big difference between influence and control. We lose control through anger when we feel like we've lost control of people or circumstances.

I will be diving more into this in the coming weeks. Please tell me I'm not alone. It's not that I am eager to have an epidemic of angry moms, but rather a movement of moms who recognize the root of their anger and want to eliminate it. I think for many of us, it starts with control.