Yes. My second eBook is underway, and it will be free for anyone who subscribes to my blog. It's a devotional focused on changing what comes out of our mouths at our children through anger and frustration. This is the photo I'm using for the cover. What do you think?
This devotional, titled A Gentle Answer: Pouring into your children through words of grace, takes you through the heart of the matter, some of the consequences involved when we mess up, the reward behind using wisdom, and lots of grace through asking for forgiveness from our children when we DO mess up.
It's devotional style, so one lesson per day, for 21 days (as it stands--there's a possibility it could go longer). I use a scripture verse, draw from a little of my own experience, offer ways we can change our hearts, and practical ideas for walking it out.
I'm working hard to get this ready for release on Mother's Day. This is my gift to you, my faithful readers and friends.
So if you notice things are a mite quite around these parts in the coming weeks, please know I am using my writing time to finish this eBook on time. I thank you for grace and I hope it will be as helpful for you to read it as it was for me to write it. I anticipate I will be going through this again and again to help me learn a new habit and a new way of speaking [grace] in the midst of frustrations.
Today, I share one of these lessons with you.
Day 12--Patience Shows Understanding
A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly. Proverbs 14:29
Patience. A concept I thought I would grasp after having five children, but no, the Lord keeps stretching me. The problem is, I think too much like an adult. When it comes to teaching and training my children, I expect them to think the way I do and know the things I know.
So when they don’t, I spout out frustrating words and quick-tempered tones. How foolish am I?
It is just not realistic. All of life shapes our thinking and teaches us new things. My children have not lived nearly as much life as I have, and certainly not in the same shoes as me. They do not know my experiences so they cannot be expected to know about life the same way I know about life.
I lack understanding with my children at times. I don’t take the time (patience) to gain perspective from them and understand they may not know certain aspects of life yet, or the way I know them. It is therefore my responsibility to patiently teach them. Use their own experiences to illustrate and even perhaps share some of mine.
When I was about 10 or 12 years old and was given a chore to do, I really did try my best to do a good job. But often my standard didn’t live up to the standard set up by those handing out the chores. So when I would get chastised, it devastated me.
As an adult, I need to remember that reality for when I inspect my own 10-year olds' chores and they don’t “live up to my standards.” And that a mess that I might be able to break down in my head, can be extremely overwhelming to a child.
Taking this understanding, I can patiently teach my child how to break it down so that she, too, will not feel overwhelmed by a task.
When we understand our children, so much conflict can be avoided. So many power struggles can be minimized if we could just understand things a bit from their perspective. This will help us guide them rather than yell or unnecessarily chastise them.
What you can do: Today, when you find yourself getting frustrated over the actions or attitude of your child, try to understand why they might be acting that way. What might you not be seeing that needs attention other than behavior modification?