Maybe you've seen it around -- the pressure to be that excellent wife and serve your husband like good wives do. Maybe you're a bit put off by all that nonsense because what about what he's supposed to do for you?
I get it. It's not hard to go down that way of thinking.
It's not hard to think about how your needs are not being met or how often you seem to be doing all-the-things on your own. He doesn't seem to appreciate you as you're cleaning up after dinner and trying to get the kids through their evening routine while he sits on the couch in front of the TV.
Your heart grows bitter and you can't possibly see how you can serve a man who simply doesn't deserve it. "Why should I be an excellent wife when he doesn't want to even try to be an excellent husband?", you think.
"Besides, why should I strive when it's clearly impossible to live up to the Proverbs 31 woman anyways?"
I have been through all the above scenarios. Most of them were pretty brief, but I thought them all (and more) at some point throughout my 15 years of marriage. Since I was a newlywed I've desired to please God by serving my husband well. So, I learned early on what that meant. I set a foundation that would build the rest of our marriage -- that foundation is the ideals God taught throughout His Word.
I have heard many reasons why women don't bother even trying to be excellent to their husbands, including: how hard he is to live with, how hard he is to love, he's lazy or doesn't deserve it, he isn't respectable because he drinks too much (though abuse isn't in the picture).
These are certainly issues to be sensitive about and as a wife who's married to a man who's quite the opposite of me, I understand the challenges of rising to the occasion of being excellent. I really do.
But can I tell you this?
After 15 years of marriage, the hard work and prayer put into being an excellent wife are paying off more than I can put into words.
Being an excellent wife is hard work and requires a constant connection to the Holy Spirit.
We aren't asked to do this alone -- but we are commanded to love.
Love isn't a feeling, it's a choice and many actions make up what defines love.
Our marriage on earth is a representation of our relationship with Christ. It is within our power and responsibility to honor our husbands as we would honor Christ. When we do this, we are being obedient to Him and the rewards are invaluable.
So, why should we strive to be an excellent wife?
Because we desire to be faithful to God and honor His commands, and being a wife is the most valuable and crucial relationship we will have on this earth, under Jesus. We need to care for and nurture our marriage and recognize it as being as important as God says it is.
It's no surprise we'll have some struggles when we live with someone who sins differently than we do. But how do we face those trials? How do we rise above what everyone else is doing - even other Christians? What is God really calling wives to do?
Do we have a choice? We certainly do.
We can choose to ignore God's commands to be more like Him [by loving our husbands well] and suffer the bad consequences of disobedience, or we can choose to rely on God to help us walk out the love He has called us to and reap the fruit in our marriage as a result.
What will you choose?
Not sure where to start in learning to be an excellent wife? Join me here next week, or subscribe below so you don't miss a post. We'll walk through it together.
For His Glory,
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