Why I Don't Want to be a Fighter in the Mommy Wars

Today my sweet bloggy friend Brenda is guest posting and sharing some very wise council. In our house, college football is not just a sport, it's a fall tradition.

Every fall not only do I decorate with brown, orange, and yellow, but I also pull out the red and black. There is a combination of scarecrows and pumpkins, bulldogs and big G's.

And the roots are deep. My husband and I went to the University of Georgia, but so did my in-laws, and then they moved right there in town, so my husband wore red and black all of his growing up years, and he also breathed it's air.

We live in North Carolina now, but every fall we make the trip to Athens, Georgia to see our beloved Bulldogs play. If we're not traveling, then Saturdays are reserved for afternoon football in the living room.

Until this year.

This year we are expecting our first baby the day before the biggest game of the season.

How wonderful would it be for her to come on time and be laying, dressed in red and black, in her daddy's arm during the football game?

It would be a special memory.

This is the exact sentiment I posted on Facebook recently.

Soon after I got this response, "You will be so tired I will be impressed if you are wanting to have a football game on in your room."

Now, I get it. I get that I have no idea what's coming my way. I get that I have an imaginary cloud floating above my head showing me how perfect this birth experience will be and how wonderful motherhood is.

But can't I just live in my bubble of the idyllic for a little while? Can't I just enjoy the excitement I have about being a mom for the first time without criticism and comments and stories?

At my age, I was not oblivious of the mommy wars that exist between moms (and even people who have never been moms). The debates about natural vs. epidural, crib bumpers vs. no crib bumpers, cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers, breast vs. bottle, homeschool vs. traditional school, spanking vs. not spanking. The list goes on.

But it wasn't until I got pregnant that I felt the effects of the looks and words and smirks when talking to other moms.

I don't want to be like them.

Why can't we be so confident that the decisions we make are steeped in prayer and covered with the Holy Spirit's leading that we do not feel the need to engage in mommy wars?

That's how I want to be.

I want to be able to say in confidence, "Well, this is what God told me I needed to do. So I'm doing it this way."

I think that most of the time, we, as women, do not give our comments or "constructive criticism" to one another out of love.

Instead we give them out of fear.

Fear that we're doing it wrong.

Fear that someone may be judging us.

Fear that we are less than.

We do not have to respond to each other in fear. Fear is where the enemy stays.

God has each of us on a path that is unique and special to serve the ones we have been entrusted. Our job is to be so in-tuned to that path that we don't feel the urge to turn right or left and step onto another path or to drag other people onto our path.

Our worth comes from Him and Him alone. No longer do we have to prove it. The Cross proved it for us.

So let's end the mommy wars with an armor of confidence. Confidence in the voice of God that guides us and leads us and never forsakes us.

Do you feel the effects of "mommy wars"? How can we as Christian women respond differently to one another?

After years of living a discontented single life, Brenda laid down her dreams and began focusing on the only One who can truly give her the desires of her heart. A few years later she found herself laying down her dreams again as her new husband had a heart transplant. Now she encourages other women to live a life surrendered to Jesus through every season – singleness, marriage, and motherhood – at her blog, Triple Braided, and on Facebook and Twitter. She is also learning to be a mommy for when she welcomes her first baby in October!