Why I Blog

My friend Lauren over at Traded Dreams inspired me to share why I blog. I figured it was a great time to evaluate why I started and why I am continuing--because they have changed.

The reasons I blog today are not the same reasons I started out with. It is truly amazing to see how God has grown me through my writing on my blog. Yet, I am still learning so much.

Over the years I have come across several bloggers who have written on keeping some things secret, sacred, and close. That you don't need to share everything with "the world". I highly respect that decision for those who feel that compelling.

But I am not one of them, though I tried to be based on these promptings.

Sure, I can keep my personal information private, but my life was not meant to be lived in secret. I believe with all I am that God has called me to share what He is doing in my life and that cannot fully be done if I hold some things back. I follow the leading of the Spirit and know what to share and what things to wait on. But I have found myself not sharing as much as I should be because of what God may have spoken to someone else.

I was created to pay attention to the details, so often I do share details. I believe the details are much of where we see {or miss} God's hand at work in our lives.

So, when I first began blogging, it was to empty myself, to help organize and clarify my own thoughts. Writing, for me, is one way I connect with God and He speaks to me. This is why I also keep a prayer journal. It helps me focus, too. But blogging is something different in a way. It involves writing, but what I write is different.

Over the last year, I've struggled a bit in my writing because I lost my voice through reading so many others. I had to take a step back from reading some of the blogs I love because I found myself wanting to adapt my voice to theirs. What came out was nothing but a mess. My voice didn't come through the way it started off--which was deep and thorough.

It started becoming choppy and my thoughts were left incomplete. I was trying to write poetically like Ann Voskamp and lyrically like Emily Freeman.

I began Joyful Mothering as a way to challenge myself to be a better mother--yet in some ways I think it's actually hindered that. I was setting standards for myself I couldn't live up to. As a result, I began writing less and less because I couldn't bear to share that I created this high standard for myself and I failed over and over and over again. How many times can my community take reading the failures of one person?

As a result, I stopped trying to be a better mother and settled for mediocrity.

I also set out to teach but I only know so much. I don't have all the answers, so keeping up with posts on how to get your children to do chores or how to speak gently to them is impossible, because I am still learning these things!

So, my blogging focus has begun to shift from "do all, tell all", to wanting to share God's power through my life rather than my filthy deeds.

That doesn't mean I won't challenge myself once in a while, but because I'm striving so much to "do" for God, I have lost striving to simply "be" with Him.

It's a funny feeling, but I miss Him. Have you ever felt like you miss God? You miss connecting with Him the way you once did? That's where I am. This is where my blogging takes a bit of a focus shift.

That begs the question: why do I blog?

I blog ultimately to bring glory to God. This happens through sharing my experience with mothering, marriage, homemaking,  missions and writing our adoption story down as it unfolds. Much of our story still remains behind the scenes in order to protect our adoptive children and our adoption process. But eventually it will come out so you can see all the wonderful ways God has worked through this process.

I blog for accountability. But this is where it can get tricky. Although I need accountability, I don't want to be eaten up by perfectionism.

I blog for community. I love connecting with women. I never believed I needed the kindred spirit of women in community, but the more I opened up to the idea and opened up myself, the more I realized what a blessing women are and how much I really do need them.

I hope you'll stick with me as my blog goes through some growing pains. I'm learning the importance of a balanced life, which is why I'm coming out with an eBook on the subject. (Details to come! ;))

 Why do you blog?