God has been speaking heavily to me about many things lately. I've been really good about emptying myself into everything in front of me, but have failed to go to Christ consistently so He can fill me again.
Living my day to day life, always on the look out for the next lesson, has made me weary and quite parched. I'm tired of it and my blog is growing stagnant as a result. My blog was created to share the joys of life and learn to be sensitive to the Spirit through my writing, for me, and anyone else who happened to come across it.
But lately, I feel like it's more of a place to write only when I have learned some new life lesson. As a result, it's sitting for days with nothing written on it. Yet I am bursting with words I'd love to share, that maybe don't reveal all the answers of a problem I may be struggling with.
For 10 days my family dealt with a nasty stomach virus. It put two of my children out of commission (aka sleeping on the couch) for a full SIX days. It also knocked my husband out of work for two straight days. When everyone was finally healthy again, we woke up to a flooded basement. First time in five years of living in this house we have ever encountered 3+ inches of water in our basement.
I was already so exhausted, I thought I might cry.
The mounting distress felt like an attack. Whether or not it was, it could still be used in favor of the enemy if we allowed it. We could grow weary and lose heart.
We could become so distracted by our circumstances that we forget to pray, forget to praise, forget to rememberHe is good.
During the clean up process, God really equipped me to focus on what was right in front of me by helping me let go of other things. While that didn't negate the fact that I was emotionally, spiritually, and physically tired,He helped me push through.
The next stage of our adoption process is nearly underway, and this particular stage is one of two major hurdles we have to get through before we can bring our two daughters home. It's a part of the process that will require specific prayer and a bit of warfare. Satan hates adoption because he hates redemption. He likes things broken. He likes people broken. He will use whatever means necessary to keep them broken.
Using life's unexpected turns is one way to distract us from praying and warring our girls home. Because I'll be honest...between the sickness and the basement flood, I haven't had much fight left in me. My energies were spent focused on what was in front of me physically, rather then the unseen, spiritual warfare coming.
The ground I walk upon has been dry because I haven't been visiting with the Giver of Life to quench my thirst and fill me again. I'm literally running on empty, on fumes, and am not being a life-giver to those around me. I never thought I'd find myself in this place, to be honest.
I think what happens is it creeps in and you don't realize it until you have nothing left.
I've been slowly digging into Colossians 3 using the Thirty Days of Bible Study for Busy Moms put out by Doorposts. I absolutely love how Pam Forster set up this study and it's simple enough to replicate to create my own studies. But my mind has been such amuck that I've struggled to even concentrate for a few minutes on Bible study. All I can think about is what I need to do and it robs me.
So, I'm letting go of all the "have to's" and replacing them with what I need to do.
- I need to spend regular time with God.
- I need to spend consistent time with my children.
- I need to be praying for my new daughters as they get ready to come home from Africa.
- I need to be reading to learn how to help transition our new daughters into a new family, new culture, new life.
I believe God brings us through seasons, and just because we move into a new season does not mean the previous season was not God's will. It's very likely that season was neededin order to move us into the next season. The key is to move when He calls us to move.
Is there some "have to" thing in your life sucking you dry that you need to release in order to make room for what you need? Is God moving you into a new season?