I don't know about you, but I find that the most difficult times to keep my emotions under control is when I'm caring for my children. Why? Because I spend more time with them then I do anyone else. They are children, not adults, though sometimes I expect them to act like adults. I know more about them then anyone else and sometimes knowing that information can set me off in certain situations.
So when I read the book Unglued, I read it through the lens of being a mom mostly.
Lysa talks about different ways we tend to handle our emotions and I happen to fall into most of them, depending on what the relationship of the person is to me.
For some reason, as a mother, I am prone to explode and hold nothing back when I hit that breaking point. Why is that? Do I think my children want to see the ugliest side of me simply because we spend the most time together?
Really, it ought to be the opposite for the same reason!
Before I can even change my actions, though, I need to change my thought life. Lysa says,
We won't develop new responses until we develop new thoughts.
This is why it's so important we know the Word and pray that God would use it to change us. We simply cannot do anything on our own.
Lysa also says,
"When we are humble, we realize our honesty can't be one-sided. We make an effort to see the situation from the other person's vantage point. And when we are wise, we pause and measure our words to get at the heart of the issue without sabotaging the heart of our offender."
Can children really offend a mother? Oh yes, and it goes right back to the first quote I shared. Offense is in the eye of the beholder. Only we can give people permission to offend us.
Offense comes from a lack of security. When we can find our security in Christ, we'll find ourselves less offended more often. Unglued is a tool to help you handle those raw emotions during times you feel offended, hurt, betrayed, or simply overwhelmed.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said,
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent".
What that means for me as a mother is this: I am the only one who can allow my children to "offend" me, so to speak. The offense is my issue, not theirs. I need to ask myself why I'm feel I am offended. Furthermore, it is my responsibility to be honest, yet controlled in my response.
Mothers can feel offended when they are deliberately disobeyed. Why? Because you feel as if your child is personally attacking you.
More often then not, this is simply not the case. Typically, a child doesn't disobey to hurt his parents. But that's how we can feel sometimes. The problem with emotions is they are simply a gauge, not always telling us the truth.
While Unglued is not specifically addressing mothers, it certainly shares examples of an exploding mother, as well as stuffing feelings when hurt by a friend.
Lysa takes you through a journey of recognizing that you are not the total sum of your difficult issues, but rather that your issues are just a part of the equation. Your issues are not your identity.
Unglued is about making wise choices in the midst of raw emotions. What woman doesn't need help with that?! :)
Winner is Amy, commenter #9 and Donna #51!
Today I'm giving away two copies of Unglued. All you have to do is leave a comment answering this question:
Why do you think this book would be a good tool for you?
Winners will be announced Friday.
U.S. residents only please!