Most days I really feel the weight of my own failures. Nothing major, so to speak. Just all the little things that add up. Such as not getting out of bed early so I can begin my day well. Or failing to read the Bible to my children--or myself. And going to bed with the house a wreck because I failed to keep on top of it throughout the day. In the midst of my own frustrations, of course I snap at my children several times throughout the day.
By the end of the night I wonder, "Is this really what life is about?"
Am I to live each day by the measure of my own failures and place my joy in that? Because if that is the case, my life will be lacking joy.
I breathe in deep and exhale the heaviness of my own yoke. I've bound myself to something Christ has freed me from; sin.
Sin is something I cannot help. That's why God sent Jesus, right? Sin is so ingrained in my being, there is nothing I can do to get rid of it.
And I have a choice. I can choose to believe God's word when it says,
Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us. Galatians 3:13
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1
Does this mean I can just act careless and do whatever I want? No, not at all.
You were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, rather, serve one another in love. Galatians 5:13
Indulging is a more intentional act of gratifying or satisfying the flesh. When I walk with Christ and I focus on my relationship with Him, it automatically pours out into my life because the Spirit lives within me. But when I try to do things backwards and toil over obeying the "law", as it were, and I miss walking with Christ, I've missed the point.
I find myself having these conversations regularly. Because I forget and need to remind myself consistently.
I plan to write a bit more on my imperfect ponderings into my daily life. Sometimes it really helps to figure things out when I write it down. I don't have all the answers and maybe writing that down will remind me to chase after the One who does.
Tonight, I am shifting my thinking away from tomorrow's to-do list and of all the methods I have in my head to "get it right", and I'm just going to focus on Christ and be lead by the Spirit. I want to love well so that I may live well. I don't want to try to perform well and lose my joy, because I'll never live up to the standard of getting it right.
And that's OK with Jesus.
Linked with Titus 2uesday.