Refocusing My Energy From Keeping House to Keeping Hearts

I've been thinking lately and I realize something. While keeping house is important, I put way more focus and energy into it than I should. Don't take that wrong. It is very important we keep our homes running smoothly. But I have put more focus on doing that than I have nurturing my children. All my "good" energy has been focused on the wrong thing; on things that are seen. the heavens 4 by marsha, on Pix-O-Sphere

Just as a profession outside the home has priorities of work/tasks, so it is inside the home as a mother and homemaker. Mother comes first [after child of God and wife]. Mother comes before cleaning. The duties of cleaning never end. I mean never. You work hard and long at scrubbing and wiping and folding and dusting. The next day it comes back again. Cleaning can be very discouraging work, indeed.

But children? Our efforts to keep their hearts and wipe their tears, and dust their builds upon itself. It builds relationship.  To hold our anger and push aside (not bury) our negative emotions for the sake of training our children; to lead by example, that is what is lasting. That is where I want to put the majority of my energy.  Not in perfecting the appearance of my house, but in building the love of Christ in my children.

Automatically I default to wanting to do those things which others [including myself] can tangibly see---right now.

There are days when my 2-year old follows me around, raising her hands for me to pick her up. She just wants to snuggle and be near, and I shoo her off with the excuse that I'm busy and there is work to be done. And then I feel a check in my spirit. No amount of work can be more important than filling up the [love] tank of my needy child. Her needs go far beyond the physical. She needs me to be present. All my children do.

If you notice why I do not write on this blog everyday, [even though there are days I want to], this is why. My children need me and they get precedence over my blog. It is often a challenge to put up a quality post. Most of the time? I write a post a paragraph at a time, rather than sitting down and producing the whole thing at once.

I share things like this with you to give you a glimpse into my not-so-perfect life. :) My heart desires many things, but I am in a battle for all of it. Sometimes blogging serves more as a distraction than a ministry, so I must be very careful. I cannot have a ministry without first having my home (God, husband, children, homeschooling, and cleaning) in order.

No, I am not quitting blogging. I am merely giving you a peek inside my heart, at some of my struggles and real life experiences. Everyday I wake up and everyday I battle to do what's right; what's lasting. Mothering and homemaking do not come without a battle.

The question is, are we fighting for it?

Linked with:

Raising Homemakers

Have I Become So Distracted?

candle at night by ashley, on Pix-O-SphereThe constant pull of life. The urgent beckons my attention. And at the end of the day? My flesh screams to be entertained: by television, by computer, by books. I have so much around here to keep me busy and entertained, it's easy to make excuses for why I can't get alone with God.

I go about my days, living my own life---as if it were mine to live. And maybe, just maybe, if I squeeze some time in, I can get alone with God.

Has life distracted me so much that I can't make time for the One who gives me life? Am I hiding behind the excuses that "God knows my heart"? Yes, He does know my heart.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9)

Yes, God knows my heart all right.

This is precisely why I need to set everything aside to take time to be with Him. Not spare time but specific time.  Time set aside just for Him.

Oh it's so easy to turn on the television or click through the computer! It's so appealing. It draws me in. Just for a minute. Just one show. But that one minute leads to 60. And that one show leads to 3. By the end I am too tired and sleep calls me.

I go to bed, regretful. I wish I had spent more time with God today.

New Moon by hskubes, on Pix-O-Sphere

I wake up to begin the whole day over again. But I change nothing, and so the days go. And God is left in the background, watching me, but never invited to join in.

Do I mistake myself with the belief that He is pleased with me because He knows my heart? {And this heart has much to learn, I assure you}. Because, I really wanted to read His word and pray but just didn't get around to it? Are my excuses really acceptable? Did I really want to be with Him? Or was I clinging to grace's abundance? (Romans 6:1)

1 John 2:4 He who says, "I know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

For several weeks I have been reevaluating my heart and my walk with Him. I have not liked what I've been shown. In fact, my heart burns with ache and sorrow. It yearns for more of Him.

Is it really so hard to say no to the things that empty me of life? Life in Him?

All He wants is for me to seek Him.

Hebrews 11:6 ... He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Psalms 119:2 2 Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, Who seek Him with the whole heart!

Proverbs 8:17 17 I love those who love me, And those who seek me diligently will find me.

Everyday I say tomorrow's the day. Tomorrow I'll do it right. Yet, I'm not even promised tomorrow.  I need Him so much today. Now.

Today is the day. Now is the time.

Nothing, not a thing, is more important than God.

This is where the flesh meets crucifixion. Where selfish desires are starved out. Where distractions are removed. All the things I thought I was capable of doing and have failed at as a result. Capable, as if it were my job to do.

Slowly, God is purging my heart. One thing at a time, thrown out to make more room for Him.

What are some things you need to throw out? Care to purge together?