My Situation is Bigger Than I Am

Yesterday I had one of the most challenging days ever. If you follow me on twitter, you probably saw my tweets. 106_7772 by abigailqueenbee, on Pix-O-SphereIt wasn't just one of those days. This went way beyond that. It was as if everything I worked toward just came crashing down on me that morning. I couldn't figure out what was going on, but I felt completely overwhelmed. I sat there wondering why God ever chose me to mother many children. I love my children and wouldn't trade them for anything! It was just in that moment, I couldn't help question of all the people, why me? I couldn't seem to hold anything together. I felt like I wasn't doing anything right.

I don't know about you, but I often take my children's bad behavior personal. I feel (which is my first mistake) like they are attacking me. However, this cannot be the case.

  1. They are not able to think so logically yet
  2. Just like me, my children are sinners!
  3. They simply don't have the ability to think about who they might be affecting.

It is my job to teach them to see outside of themselves. Even as I write this, I'm figuring out ways I can train and use these moments to open a door to something or someone other then themselves.

But here I am, just had my fifth child, realizing that my situation is waaay bigger than I am. Homeschooling is no easy feat. And some may snuff at the fact that I have 5 children and "it's my own fault". Really? Last I knew, God was in control of my life, not me. We are just following His lead. So now that that is cleared up... coffefruit by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere Yes, I feel like I'm in over my head. But you know what? This is exactly where God wants me to be...because He wants me to rely on Him. This drives me to my knees, praying for help and guidance. Realizing that whenever we DO have a successful day, it was totally God - because I am totally incapable.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5-6 {emphasis mine}

I must look to the Lord. He gave me this ministry, but without Him as our center, it's useless, worthless, and won't budge.