More Than Will Power

Last night we brought home a triple loft bunk bed. It's a bunk bed with a loft connected to it (so two bunks in the air, one on the floor). It didn't fit where we planned on putting it (despite all the measurements we took). So, instead we switched rooms with our girls. They have the smallest room, so we took it since we don't need the floor space for play.

However, doing that was like setting off a bomb in our house. Everything that was in our room (sans the bed and dresser) was emptied out into the living room and dining room. Who knew so much stuff could be squeezed into one bedroom!?

So on top of organizing the children's toys in the basement, I get the added bonus of finding a home for all this other stuff.

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Sometimes, I seriously feel like this is what my life looks like. Messy and out of order.

It's going to take more than will power to get this home back in functional order. Furthermore, my homeschooling needs to be turned up a notch. We've literally been floating at the surface just doing the absolute basics of learning for the last couple of months. I want to go deeper. The foundation of our homeschool (and life) is Jesus Christ. I don't want my children growing up on surfacey faith. Faith that's only evident when it's convenient. I believe the ways we live our very days is the way our lives our lived.

“I don’t just want my kids to be moral.  I don’t just want them to know all of the biblical rules for behavior.  I don’t just want them to make it through my home with good grades, no drug addiction, and no premarital sex. I want them to leave my home with a hunger and passion to know God personally and to be used by him to accomplish great things for his kingdom.” {Quoted from a post titled He Stands in the Gap written by Sarah Mae}

Yet I feel lost as to how to accomplish this, because I can't give them my relationship with Christ. I can only help them develop one of their own.  And I have no idea how to do that. I don't even know how I got where I am in my walk other than hearing God's voice and just following His lead.

That's why I want to implement a more intentional spiritual life. Not just fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants faith, but some real intentional, set-aside time to pray, worship, and just be with God. Because it's something I feel like I need. Not because I feel guilty or want to be legalistic. I need to be and remain connected to the Spirit in order to accomplish anything. And so do my children.

Currently I am using a Journible to write out Psalm 119 one verse at a time. I also just began You're Already Amazing by Holley Gerth. Oh friends, this book is already pulling at my heart strings. On Facebook yesterday I modified a quote from her book and posed it as a question. Now I know I'm not alone.

I asked,

Does the brokenness in your life make it hard to believe you could ever be amazing?

What's your answer?

Edited and updated from the archives