I miss the little things
How about a little reality? While I certainly aspire to greater things, it's often a one-step-forward, five-steps-back type of accomplishment. There is no straight line in life. And I am a detail girl. I like to really hone in on details. I see joy in the simplicity of hot coffee and a beautiful blue sky.
But over time I lost focus of the little things and found myself constantly frustrated because I couldn't live up to my own expectations. And it's not that I want to drop high expectations, because I think that's truly where growth takes place in some respects.
But I want to focus more on the journey rather than always worrying about how to make it perfect. I want to remember to look closely at what is going on right in front of me, not worry that I'm missing out on something somewhere else (like social media...ahem). Social media is fun, yes! But too much of it can just leave you feeling empty. I think often I used it for escape or merely out of habit; browsing aimlessly and wasting time.
As of late, my days have been filled with homeschooling and evaluating our learning environment with two new additions to our family. I've discovered that it will be best by splitting into two different curriculums this year to best meet the needs of my children. Talk about a detour! But that's real life. It may not be what I pictured, but it is still beautiful and will be better than what I originally imagined, for everyone.
Today, we had quite a full day of lessons, and we're not quite in the full swing of homeschooling yet. I continue to ease in new subjects and activities each week. We are in our fourth week and I believe the biggest wrinkles have been smoothed out. I am using Tapestry of Grace: Year 2 and My Father's World: Exploring Countries and Cultures.
The burden of blogging
In addition, not blogging these past couple of weeks AND not worrying that I haven't blogged has been so freeing for me. I have been able to fully focus on the needs at home. I'm able to see more details throughout the day and tend to my home and my children on a deeper level. Not blogging for a few days used to really bother me, but it doesn't anymore because nothing I write here matters much if I am not fully engaged at home. And truthfully, it has been so much more rewarding to be able to focus again on the little things; the smaller details that bring me and my family joy.
Such as asking my children what they would like to drink with their lunch rather than telling them they can help themselves. While they are quite capable of getting their own drinks (mostly), it was so much more rewarding for me to be able to anticipate their need and serve them rather than run to the computer to meet it's "demands".
Back to writing
I also miss journaling, which by the way, is what this post really is: a journal entry. I am simply laying down some of my thoughts in written form. I am not thinking about SEO, or key words, or even post format and headings. I am just writing what's on my mind. I guess you could call it a Coffee Break, but you may see them as more the norm around here. And you might receive my posts closer to evening hours because I find that's the best time for me to write.
And writing like this? So freely, even if it is imperfect? Priceless.