I have. And the effects can be devastating. At the very least they can cut deeply. But sometimes they can do irreparable damage to a marriage.
I think sometimes these words can stem from our own deep rooted fears. The fear is subconscience or perhaps never verbalized. Until one day it comes to a head out of nowhere.
It is so important we take every thought captive so we are not allowing fear to drive us.
I have watched many marriages crumble around me and this has caused fear in me for our own marriage. But I've also brought a little baggage into my marriage. The baggage of rejection. Because I was a teen who dated, I had dealt with my fair share of rejections from boys who told me they cared, and then left.
I need to recognize my husband is his own person. He is not anyone else from my past and we've been married almost 13 years! I know his love for me has only deepened with the years. He tells me so. He shows it. Yet I still struggle sometimes to believe what I see right in front of me.
In fact, he has been the one constant in my life who has shown me more of Jesus then anyone else. I know he would deny this (which only proves my point!). But his love for me is more unconditional then I've ever experienced and sometimes I feel like it's too good to be true.
This shows me more and more how God uses marriage to demonstrate His relationship with us. My husband and I are joined together, for better or worse. We couldn't survive the bumps of marriage without being in constant prayer through the good and the bad times. Everything we do is linked to Him. Decisions. Struggles. Bad moods. We take it all to Him. I can't see any other reason our marriage has survived other then Him.
He grows our love for each other as we remain obedient to Him and do the hard things; like forgive. And repent when we've wronged each other. God has taught me so much about how to reign in my emotions and keep them in check (and I'm still learning!). Allowing emotions to rule a marriage can certainly be devastating. They are too flimsy to be wholly trusted.
The issue of the tongue is deeper then what's on the surface.