Control, Authority, and Ramblings of a Mother's Heart

coffee by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-SphereI'm sitting here this morning with coffee in hand, wanting to write but not knowing what to write. Right now, I'm not up for another "how to" post.  I was thinking more along the lines of just sharing my heart, however raw that is. The new year didn't ring in exactly how I wanted, but that's OK. I need to let go of trying to control everything, because you know what? It's really exhausting. It's also frustrating when things don't go the way I want. Ever feel like that?

The jokes on me though. I'm only fooling myself if I think I'm in control. God has equipped me to guide and plant. All authority comes from Him and I need to remember to operate under that Authority. I need to remember my place. Yet at the same time, I need to take more seriously the role I've been given. I am made to worship {Him}. I was created to serve. To serve. And do it with a joyful heart. Serving requires so much sacrifice. I have to give up things I have a hard time letting go of. I have to set my agenda aside in order to meet the needs of my home and family. I even have to set aside my way of doing things.

I am beginning to learn that there is no such thing as "free time". Any time given to me is from the Lord, and I want to honor Him with it by giving it back. But that's me. That's the season I'm in right now. I've had a general dissatisfaction with where I invest my time that I know it's time for change. After all, if do what you always did, you'll get what you've always got.

I've been walking around with a change of perspective. My eyes haven't been so focused on the mess. The mess of me, my husband, or my house, or my children. Instead, I'm focused on the precious moments I'm given and the traits that do shine Jesus. The mess is being blurred until it's the proper time to deal with it. I cannot clean the house while I'm homeschooling. And I cannot clean my house (spirit) until I can sit alone with God.

Even as I sit typing this He is working my heart to learn to love people better. To learn to control my anger and accept that people make mistakes, just like me.

I know my ramblings are extremely random this morning. I thank you for sticking with me as long as you have. If you're interested in future ramblings, you can subscribe here. ;)