Clothed with Strength & Dignity

Oh what a blessing it would be if I could live out this verse.  I struggle so much with being so dependent on other things other than God's strength. Sometimes I don't even know how to walk in God's strength. It seems things just really crash down on me when I do things in my own strength or even rely on the strength of others - like my husband. My husband is so awesome and helps out so much around here. Just having his presence here makes such a difference in my childrens' behavior and attitudes. He also brings a sense of relief to me in the evenings and on the weekends when he's home.

So, when he goes out biking or running with his friends, I really struggle with holding down the "fort" by myself. I grow weary, physically and emotionally.

When it happens several nights in a row, it is even more difficult.

He then offers me to "get out of the house". Yes, it is refreshing to step outside the house and regain some focus and perspective. But then I'm pulling even more time away from us. We don't go out on dates except for special occasions (birthday, anniversary, etc), and even then, usually the kids join us.

In no way am I blaming my husband for any of this. In fact, this problem is mine, not his. Just like me, he needs a release and this not only helps him relieve stress, it helps keep him healthy at the same time. I am all for that.  I tend to find my release in writing and usually, I don't have to leave home for that.

So, during these times when my husband is away late, whether it's for running/biking, a church meeting, fixing someone's car, etc., I need to know where to draw my strength from. It is not from my husband. It is from my Father.

My husband is great, but he is not all powerful and he cannot be all things that I need. Only God can fulfill such a role. And I know I've put much pressure on him with such a silly demand.

I want to be clothed in strength and dignity so that I can run this household smoothly and efficiently, even on days I'm doing it all alone.