You are reading a series called "Life as a Homeschool Mom of Many" which is running throughout the month of October.
September 30, 2014
So, today is my 14th wedding anniversary and I have been quite content to simply catch up on some work online and allow the children to have the day off homeschooling. It's nearly 3:00pm and I am still in my pajamas. This rarely happens so I am OK with it.
Reaching the Heart
One of my adopted daughters had an incident when, after lunch, she shut down. After being home three months, I continue to learn and try to understand what triggers these times and how to best handle them. My flesh wants to react because that is what I am so used to doing. But I am grateful for the Holy Spirit who always intervenes.
While I do not want to encourage or condone manipulative behavior, I am not so sure that's what this is -- even if "the books" say it is. My daughter cannot be locked inside such a box. So, I tried both ways. I told her that this type of behavior -- where she ignores everyone -- is not OK behavior and that if she needs something she needs to come to Mommy or Daddy so we can help meet her need. Her need was that she was still hungry. I offered her one of 3 choices of fruit (all of which she likes).
Unfortunately, that conversation didn't help to bring her back. And my goal and my heart is to truly help her feel safe, secure, and loved. So I went back and had another conversation with her, where I built her up with my words. I told her that I love her and that I want to meet her needs but I cannot do that if she doesn't tell me what they are. I told her she is good kid and that I understand the adjustment to America with a new family has not been easy. I kissed her on the head and left.
A few minutes later she came out and I cut her an apple.
My husband stayed busy finishing up a table he built for himself to sit beside him on his recliner. Something sturdy. Here it is before he stained it.
I must admit, seeing this table (after it was stained) in our living room makes me want to redecorate!
Anniversaries Aren't Immune to Conflict
In the evening my mother in law took us out to dinner, but of course right before we left my husband and I got into a little spat. It was so stupid but it fizzled out before we made it to the restaurant.
If we were younger, it would have turned into an all out fight. God has really taught us how to tame our flesh to not react -- at least not as severely. The last thing I wanted to do was end my anniversary fighting with my husband. So regardless of how I felt or how "right" I thought I was, I bit my tongue. It just wasn't worth it.
We had a great time celebrating with our children. Fourteen years is something to celebrate!
We finished our evening watching Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episodes on Netflix. We've been on a Star Trek kick for about a year now. That's how we wind down. Though, I do admit, I miss reading or writing a good post! :)
Oh and be sure to get your ticket for the Homemaking From Scratch conference coming up October 7th-9th. If you purchase your ticket before the conference dates, you’ll get over $200 of homemaking resources FREE. I will be speaking on Biblical Motherhood. Would love for you to join us! Click below for a full spread of topics, speakers, and the free resources.