A Grumbling Spirit

Contentment is a gift that allows us freedom to enjoy where we are. It's a gift because it helps us fully live in the moment or season we are in. Grumbling about what is or what we don't have sends us into a ungrateful attitude. This attitude can affect everything and everyone around you. a glimpse by sandpiper, on Pix-O-SphereI am learning, over and over again, to live in each moment and count it as a gift. To fully embrace each thing God has given me. It only takes an instant for it all to change. Contentment is a learned art. Paul stated that he learned to be content in all circumstances. If you're anything like me, you tend to learn things the hard way.

True Story: Yesterday I was making the kids eggs and toast for breakfast. I was literally complaining and grumbling for no good reason. I'm moving around the kitchen as normal, getting ready to grab the eggs from the counter and put them in the pan. Next thing I know, I feel this electrical surge go through the center of my back. It nearly knocked me off my feet. It sent pain shooting throughout my back and was so intense that I couldn't even stand up straight. I couldn't even breathe normal breaths because it hurt so bad. I had to take in short, quick breaths. I sat there for a few moments expecting it would subside and I could get on with life. It didn't.

I called my husband who had just arrived at work. I was in tears, asking him to pray for me. He initiated coming home instead. {I don't normally call him up crying in pain}. When he arrived I was laying in my bed, making horrific moaning noises. He tried to massage it out, but to no avail. He got me the heating pad and that helped take much of the edge off.

He finished fixing the kids breakfast and I was able to stand up and walk to the living room. After a short while, I sent him back to work.

However, I have been sitting down with frequent surges of pain since it happened. I cannot care for my children properly, I cannot clean, I cannot discipline/correct. I did not sleep last night because I could not get comfortable.

EDITED TO ADD: I have never had back problems in my life. I am considered extremely healthy and have never had any major issues.

What's my point? Hear me out on this. I understand that some may not agree with me on this, and that's fine. But this is what I know and believe to be true, and the Scriptures do confirm it for me. When the surge in my back happened, at that same moment I saw a vision of the finger of God touch my back. While I was laying in bed, waiting for my husband, I truly and honestly believe that God was telling me to stop complaining. Because yesterday wasn't the first time. It has been an ongoing issue with me. I believe God literally disciplined me. The Bible confirms

Hebrews 12:6 (NASB77) 6 For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, And He scourges every son whom He receives."

Don't mistake me. I am not mad at God nor do I believe it was misplaced what  happened. He wanted to get my attention and He did. I later recalled the story of Job and all he endured. His wife continuously spurred him to just curse God and die. But Job? No, he wisely responded:

Job 2:10 (NASB77) 10 But he said to her, "You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" In all this Job did not sin with his lips. {emphasis mine}

Shall we only accept good things from God? Shall we not also thank Him when everything is less than we would have it? This is where we learn to be content; thanking God for every gift. God calls us to do everything without complaining and arguing (Phil. 2:14). My grumbling was hindering my children and teaching them a bad habit of grumbling. It was also hindering me in my walk with God. Subconsciously, I wouldn't go to Him when things were less than ideal -- even when the problem was me. I had many excuses, but my number 1 excuse was simply that "I can't get anything right and I'm not worthy to even talk to Him."

God loves me too much to leave me where I am, and I am so thankful for that. But the thing I often forget, is that He already brought me to where He wants me when Jesus died on the cross ~ and that's in fellowship with Him.

Should I now deny Him that which He died for?

Do you tend to learn things the hard way, too? What lesson is God teaching you right now?

 

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