Why Should I Be An Excellent Wife?

Maybe you've seen it around -- the pressure to be that excellent wife and serve your husband like good wives do. Maybe you're a bit put off by all that nonsense because what about what he's supposed to do for you?

Maybe you've seen it around -- the pressure to be that excellent wife and serve your husband like good wives do. Maybe you're a bit put off by all that nonsense because what about what he's supposed to do for you?

I get it. It's not hard to go down that way of thinking.

It's not hard to think about how your needs are not being met or how often you seem to be doing all-the-things on your own. He doesn't seem to appreciate you as you're cleaning up after dinner and trying to get the kids through their evening routine while he sits on the couch in front of the TV.

Your heart grows bitter and you can't possibly see how you can serve a man who simply doesn't deserve it. "Why should I be an excellent wife when he doesn't want to even try to be an excellent husband?", you think. 

"Besides, why should I strive when it's clearly impossible to live up to the Proverbs 31 woman anyways?"


I have been through all the above scenarios. Most of them were pretty brief, but I thought them all (and more) at some point throughout my 15 years of marriage.  Since I was a newlywed I've desired to please God by serving my husband well. So, I learned early on what that meant. I set a foundation that would build the rest of our marriage -- that foundation is the ideals God taught throughout His Word. 

I have heard many reasons why women don't bother even trying to be excellent to their husbands, including: how hard he is to live with, how hard he is to love, he's lazy or doesn't deserve it, he isn't respectable because he drinks too much (though abuse isn't in the picture). 

These are certainly issues to be sensitive about and as a wife who's married to a man who's quite the opposite of me, I understand the challenges of rising to the occasion of being excellent. I really do. 

But can I tell you this?

After 15 years of marriage, the hard work and prayer put into being an excellent wife are paying off more than I can put into words.

Being an excellent wife is hard work and requires a constant connection to the Holy Spirit.

We aren't asked to do this alone -- but we are commanded to love.

Love isn't a feeling, it's a choice and many actions make up what defines love. 

Love isn't a feeling, it's a choice. Many actions make up what defines love. -Christin Slade

Our marriage on earth is a representation of our relationship with Christ. It is within our power and responsibility to honor our husbands as we would honor Christ. When we do this, we are being obedient to Him and the rewards are invaluable. 

So, why should we strive to be an excellent wife?

Because we desire to be faithful to God and honor His commands, and being a wife is the most valuable and crucial relationship we will have on this earth, under Jesus. We need to care for and nurture our marriage and recognize it as being as important as God says it is. 

It's no surprise we'll have some struggles when we live with someone who sins differently than we do. But how do we face those trials? How do we rise above what everyone else is doing - even other Christians? What is God really calling wives to do?

Do we have a choice? We certainly do. 

We can choose to ignore God's commands to be more like Him [by loving our husbands well] and suffer the bad consequences of disobedience, or we can choose to rely on God to help us walk out the love He has called us to and reap the fruit in our marriage as a result.

What will you choose?

Not sure where to start in learning to be an excellent wife? Join me here next week, or subscribe below so you don't miss a post. We'll walk through it together.


For His Glory,


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How To Raise Godly Children in an Ungodly World

How can we equip our children to navigate the waters of moral and biblical compromise in today's society. At the very foundation, our children need to know what is right and what is wrong; what is love and what is compromise.

Sin has been around since the first man and woman have walked the earth. There is no hiding from it and the only escape is the blood of Jesus Christ.  

Today we face moral compromise at every turn as our nation has drastically changed the values for which we stand. As more and more sin becomes socially acceptable, it can be very easy to make compromises that would soon destroy our faith and relationship with Jesus. Our faithfulness and loyalty lie first with Jesus Christ, not man.

How can we navigate these waters so our children know how to grow up knowing what's right, even when the world lives and screams otherwise? In what ways can we equip them to walk with the Lord?

At the very foundation, our children need to know what is right and what is wrong; what is love and what is compromise.

They need to understand living in the world as a Christ follower is not meant to be an easy life. 

Maybe this is something we all need to be reminded of? 

Here are three important ways to raise Godly children in an ungodly world. 


Renew Their Minds with His Word 

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
-Romans 12:2

To conform means "to be in harmony with". The best way to know what is holy and what is worldly is to consistently be in His Word. Your children are never too young to begin reading the Bible to them. You can begin with the great stories of the Old Testament. Read about Noah's faithfulness to God and the consequences of Jonah's initial disobedience. Teach them about God's protection for Daniel as He remained faithful even in the face of serious danger. 

Teach the Proverbs daily so your children will be wise and know how to make wise decisions in a world that has no compass for it. 

Teach them to practice righteousness by saying no while everyone else is saying yes. 

This isn't about living in a bubble, but it's about protecting the hearts, minds, and souls of our children. We can live in the world without doing everything the world does.

We can even respect people when we don't agree with their choices.

No, we will not always make perfect choices and neither will our children. But by knowing the heart of God and following His commands and example, we can help our children discern between holiness and worldliness. 

Equip Them for Trials and Suffering 

"In the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
-John 16:33b

Serving the Lord is not a ticket to an easy life. In fact, it may seem to be an even harder life because we are moving against the grain of most everything else. It is an uphill climb to follow Christ. 

The world doesn't understand the ways of Christ so there will always be pushback for some of the choices we make. People will reject their decisions and their beliefs.  Our children need to know this is normal for those who follow Him and we need to prepare them for such trials. 

But how?

Prayer - Praying with your children will help armor them for this battle. Pray the Holy Spirit would guide them (and you!) in their decisions, give them strength as they face struggles, and walk with them every step of the way. He will never leave us!

Support/Encouragement - Having someone who can empathize and support your children can really take the edge off of difficult situations. Simply understanding how hard it is can really take the edge off trials. 

Psalms - Read from Psalms every day. Teach your children to learn from someone who went through trial after trial and clung to God for help and remembered who He was in the face of his enemies. Remind your children they are not alone. 

Teach Love without Compromise 

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
-1 John 2:15

The mantra these days is that we need to love people and tolerate their sinful choices. But it seems we have misunderstood what love truly is, and also what our role as Christians are. What are we teaching our children about love? Are we teaching them a godly love or a worldly love?

First, let's discuss our role as a follower of Christ. 

The Christian's Role

Our role for loving the unsaved isn't to judge their sin or to shelter ourselves from them. 

For what have I to do with judging those who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? But those who are outside God judges. -1 Corinthians 5:12-13

We can still love people even when we don't agree with their choices. We can still respect people when we don't agree with their choices. But we need to understand something about those who don't follow Jesus -- and we need to help our children understand this as well: 

The world is not going to follow a standard that is Godly because they don't follow God.

We can hardly expect them to live by the same values we do; nor can we hold it against them.

We need to begin by loving people where they are, as they are. 

What is love?

Love is patient. It is kind. Love does not envy or boast. Love is not proud (but humble). It is not rude, or self-seeking. Love does not become angered easily and it does not keep a record of all wrongs committed.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

You see, love cannot be OK with what is biblically evil, unacceptable in the eyes of God. But it can still be kind. 

This is what our children need to be taught about loving others who don't know Jesus, without compromising God's truth. 

People are free to reject this truth, but as Christians, as His children whose eyes have been opened, we need to remain in His righteousness by abstaining from evil -- even agreeing with it. 

Teach your children to stand for biblical truth, but to also love people through kindness (which is also biblical truth). 

To raise Godly children in an ungodly world is no easy task, but with the Lord, it is not impossible and He will never leave us alone in this calling.

Teaching your children holiness through reading His Word daily, equipping them for definite hardships, and giving them an understanding of biblical love and biblical truth are all very important foundations for bringing up Godly children who love the Lord--especially in a world that pushes hard against godliness. 

For His Glory,


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